Deep Breath. Happy Thoughts. Deep Breath. Happy Thoughts.
I wish someone would take over my life for a month and I could rest. Fibro warriors are working with a limited amount of energy and I find that I’m spending that energy trying to figure out how to get better and all I’m getting is a deeper level of exhaustion. It’s a bit of a vicious cycle. I go from one doctor to another and everyone has a different opinion and ultimately I’m feeling worse. A piece of me wants to stop.
I’ve read a lot of books by fibro warriors and they all say exactly what I just typed. They then go on to tell me what they did to get better. Of course, what they did always varies and is told with the caveat that what worked for me might not work for you…
My gut is telling me to listen to these warriors and give the doctors a rest. But that doesn’t seem right either. And then the battle ensues in my mind of what’s the right decision and instead of doing something to help myself, I’m consumed by it which saps all my energy that I could be using to clean the floor or work on my wedding dress.
Another deep breath.
Everyone has their own opinion of what the worst part of fibromyalgia and I’m going to tell you mine. I’m not gonna lie, the pain sucks and on really bad days I would say that is the worse part. However, the part that I find the most frustrating is the conundrum of healing. In order to feel better we have to stretch, exercise and do relaxation… I agree that by doing these things I do get some relief. Does it make me pain free? No. If it’s raining, I could spend the entire day stretching and it would do nothing.
Doing all of these things takes time and energy which we have finite amounts of. A “normal” person (I cringe when I use the word normal) can wake up, drink coffee en mass, eat McDonalds for breakfast, smoke cigarettes, go to work where they sit all day long and eat a bag of doritos, come home and drink a 6 pack of beer while watching tv. And guess what? They feel freaking great. Grrr.
You can probably tell by this post that my mind is racing. I have a million things to do and have no idea if I’m going to get any of them done. Hence the request for someone else to take over my life. I’m not sure what I’m going to do to get a handle on this situation. I think I might take the dogs for a walk.
yours in frustration