Feeling Overwhelmed by Fibromyalgia


Picture of my rouge strawberries

Rouge Strawberries

Strawberries are pretty amazing.  They grow as a vine traveling great distances to build a garden almost overnight.

In this picture (to the left of the potted violets), are some rouge strawberries that I allowed to grow because they had to work really damn hard to get there. They planted themselves in between the crack of my pavement and wood plank. It seemed wrong pulling them out after so much effort.

I often feel that way about being a Fibro Warrior.  Non-warriors make roots in the grass, grow strong and bask in the sunlight while we figure out a way to grow by squeezing ourselves in a crack next to a pot of annuals.  We still see the sun and grow; but it takes work!

I’ve already said to my mother (who is the most patient, understanding and wonderful woman ever) that for me to even feel close to normal, I have to spend hours a day getting there.  Those hours are spent stretching, hanging out in a steam room, lying on a heating pad, taking yoga – the list goes on.  All of these thing legitimately help me, so skipping them makes me upset because I know I’ll feel worse for it the next day.  This might sound like a no brainer – it’s only an hour and a half out of the 16 hours we’re awake.

A warrior would never say that because we know that we’re already so damn tired to begin with that “losing” an hour and a half of every day is a lot.  What if that hour uses up our energy supply for the day.  We might have to work, go food shopping, cook dinner, clean the house, take the kids or dogs to the park, meet friends for dinner, go to a doctor’s appointment!  The list never ends – life is busy.

It’s the biggest conundrum that I struggle with!  I know I have to spend that Margo time to feel better but some days it just seems hard.  Today is a great example.  This morning I have to go to Joann Fabrics, PetSmart, Giant, Old Navy & produce junction (they’re all in the same area that isn’t close to me so I hit them all up in one visit).  It’s going to be in the 60s today, so I want to take the dogs to the dog park & stop by work for a bit.  When I get home I have to give the dogs a bath because they’ll be a mess and then John needs my help with the stairs (we’re changing from carpet to wood).  THEN tonight I’m going to dinner at an old friend’s house.

I’ve already decided to skip my am yoga class (probably a mistake) because there simply isn’t enough time to do it all.  I’m going to try and pop in the gym to use their steam room for 15-20 minutes but I’m not sure if that’ll happen either.  And on top of all of this, I’m already overwhelmed by the prospect of my day.  It’s just too much.  Which is probably why I’m sitting here typing this as opposed to getting dressed and heading out.  I’m almost paralyzed by it.

Don’t worry, I’m not going to make this the longest entry ever in an attempt to procrastinate even longer.  I’m sure I’ll end up skipping a bunch of my errands in an attempt to make my day more manageable.  I find myself prioritizing A LOT!  Doing the most important things and saving the others for next time.  Old Navy might have to wait for another day…

Yours in Health,

M

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